Wednesday, September 06, 2006
the Air...
hmm somehow i seem to like change everyday....or every other time.....cos everytime people see me....they will say i have changes....or that i look different...hmm do i??
People say i look different when i wear my specs...Christel(my blkmate) says i look like a cute boi boi when i wear my specs....and she thinks i am a small boi boi....haha....other than tat still got people comment "oh i cant recognise u lor, u look so different in specs"
Another comment i had today which i also hear quite often... Saw meifen today...she said in chinese "eh u look thinner leh"... hmm its not that i dun wanna grow bigger size or get fatter....or build up muscles....but i cant!! argh...its so awfully hard for me to put on weight lar.......i can never get above 60kg....and i cant gym when i dun even have the mass to build up on...i dun wanna drink those powder lar...GNC stuffs...yucks...but on the other hand...i dun ever think i will have developed chest muscles...like Xingjian mentioned...actually my body is ok...jus that i lack a chest..haha...and imagine my "diao" face...yes (-_-)
Next comment today which i also hear over n over again...Saw Esther at the bus stop outside Engine..then she came over n chatted with me and said this "eh why nowadays u like so gloomy, face so seh lidat?" then i was like huh really meh...haha....then i replied" hmm mayb cos i dun smile ba then i look chao Bin...mayb cos i smile too much normally n when i dun pple think i bad mood" Then Esther replied " yar i think so lor...u not like during Orientation Camp lidat so happy and cheerful le leh...wanna see the cheerful u" Well....i really try to....but then if i smile every other time...then i machiam v fake or pple think i some Siao Gi-na...n sometimes its jus tat i have to think of wat i have to do or planning my time in my head so i appear really expressionless..I wish i can really appear cheerful all the time...but im really a lil stressed up there to do so....its diff in Arts Camp...when i didnt have to think abt studies...abt softball...abt Hall...abt pple...well....so kinda hard to remain so happy one leh...
Felix also mentioned.."i walked past ya when u were having softball training today,why u looked so sian one?" I was training ma....and its so STRESSED in Softball....!!today jus kanna from HAn Coach...machiam SG idol lor..commenting on my batting--"1,u have too many movements..2, ur jus not strong enough yet" I hear liao...almost cringed..im trying really hard....i feel improvements every wk....or perhaps im jus doing a Joakim Gomez....self deceit....or self encouragement...but i do feeel im improving...but i dun have all the time in the world to commit 101% to softball anymore...its not JC...i cant afford...n i dun have teammates that i Love...to make me feel so much for the game..Today kanna ordered by a 19yr old to carry the tyre to the field...almost whacked his face off....well...his my teammate...freshie...but RJ..med student..Changyu asked us to roll the tyre over n he was chatting with Jun up front so he shouted back"hey aeron u take lar ah" then i was like stunned ...huh?why do i even have to listen to u?!but i jus took it anyway....but deep down really hated him...wats with the arrogance man...ur not captain man..i dun have to listen to u.....i might not be playing first team in tournaments now...but im training hard enough to get in lor...u have 5yrs experience...im like 2yrs...at least im playing well enough to be in the team lar...nvm...Its jus stresseed to be Team NUS...
Last comment was By Gustaf(dunno spell correct or not...he's darren n isaac's fren so i dun really noe him well)during Lunch. Well cos i reserved seats for my frenz n i put my bag on one seat(table for 4persons) n my other bag full of my Barang barangs for softball on another seat. So this is wat happened...i heard some woman's voice behind me exclaiming "oh! got pple's bag already lar" then i turn around dunno who said one...then since the table of 4 pple beside my already "chopped" table left...i took my bag off the other "chopped" table which was behind Gustaf's table..and chopped the seat beside me which was really jus rite beside...cos the other table was like further ma and if my frenz came we would be separated by Gustaf's table. So when i took my bag off i saw 2 girls finding seats so i called to them but they didnt hear n then finally i stood up to tell them there's a seat but then another girl was already frantically walking to the table n took the table le.... So...Gustaf asked me this when i returned to my table "did u know those girls?" i replied"erm...no?" he went" huh? then why u so nice?? u very nice leh u...why u so nice when u dunno them?" haha...i was like...hmm well...i feel bad taking up the seat in the first place since my frenz aren't here yet...another pt was that if i have an empty seat why not offer to others who need it? yupz...
then Gustaf made another comment "eh u noe ian rite?ur BMT ian?" then i suddenly rem and said "yar oh...u noe him too?" then he said yar yar...then he said " oh i was talking to ian one day and jus happened to talk abt you and he was telling me u are super nice guy and he thinks u are really damn nice...like u even volunteered to be Report sick IC when no one wanted it..." then i was like "no lar...ok lar...." but deep down i was happy to hear that....really...it made my day....i jus felt...wow...there's actually pple who feels im nice like from 2 yrs back...tats so nice to hear...felt like i made an impact.... =)
Hmm...Im not really thin ok.....im trying to gain weight...im trying to have chest muscles...but tat seems rather hard cos i dun gym...yea...gyming is dumb lar! see they even have equipments tat are dumb...i.e Dumbbells....I will try to smile more often when i travel around school so that pple wont be scared off by me...The air smells different everytime lar.....like my air purifier...sometimes i put Vitality...sometimes Lavender(relaxing) or sometimes simply nothing....smell the air....and feel for urself wat kinda air u prefer....i wish i knew...(refer to previous post) =)Air Turbulence at 11:59 PM