Tuesday, July 11, 2006
d0n't Run aWay..
hmm am listening to this song that has the lyrics.."i dun wanna run away..i dun wanna be alone...baby you're the one i need tonight...Baby now i need to hold u tight...i wanna be forever"Suddenly got a lil' emotional...prob the weather, the time and space allows such perfect timing to feel so...Taufiq wrote me a testimonial on friendster...and it made me feel damn touched also...n having spent a whole day at chalet with Scouts, i feel nostalgia too...there's such a clash of emotions within me....i feel strangled....i feel like crying..but..its not tears of sadness...its tears of every emotions one can feel...Im sorry to pple i haven met up as often as i would have wanted...my dearest vonne-mei, Jc Pals....sec sch frenz bdays....jc frenz bdays.....Army pals.........long list goes on......i really would want to ....really....if i could go to everyone's i REAlly would....but i realised...every single one i go to...i have to spend quite alot.....ok...its not really abt money...yar...i noe.....its also abt time....cos i really need to work....and i noe work have been taking me away these days.....im sorry....but...i really need to work really hard....especially for my trip...and for uni is gonna start.......i feel horrible...im not perfect....but i do try my best everytime....Pple have been saying..."hey, Aeron u siao ah? why u keep OT-ing?" or " eh relax lar...off day take a rest lar.." Many dun understand....or rather...i dun think anyone does...Seriously...many think i earn alot....yea...its actually alot..cos its almost Full timers pay if not more...but its really barely covering myself....for i have so much expenditure...and with university coming....im really worrying...cos i have no savings...I pay for everything myself...Every little thing...Transport, meals, insurance, handphone bills and even toiletries...yes....i have to buy my own toiletries....cos i use my own set of toiletries...the only thing i dun pay for...i think is my house...bed and water and electricity...and my meals if i have it at home...my father isn't working...yea...he's not..after his small business folded...i have only my brothers to depend on for uni...one's paying my fees using CPF, the other will help pay my expenses and all....i feel bad...i really do...that i have to use their money........my brother paying for my expenses will get it the most...cos i have like Hall and stuffs to pay for.....i really wish i can work and study at the same time......i really wish......but i dun dare...i dun dare to risk....i wanna do well so that i wont waste their money....but at the same time, i cant ensure that if i dun work i will do well.......its such a dilemna..how?its weird writing all these for pple to see...its not supposed to mean im trying to get sympathy...its not......i dun need any sympathy......jus a lil sharing of the real Aeron...u dun get to see....jus dun gimme the hey are u ok look or sms or calls when u read this.....its not meant that way.......get it? its jus sharing my feelings....my tots.......Air Turbulence at 1:23 AM