Monday, April 17, 2006
is it always this way...?or isit just me??
hmm been thinking about this for quite long le but i never really like blogged abt it...think i should let myself breathe...esp with all my work...i shouldn't have to bother abt such stuffs..I realised..I am always the Everyone's fren....when they need me,they get to me..i will always be there for them...or at the very least try to be there for them...and esp so for the frenz whom i treat as close...or so i always think...but i realised when i need someone to be there...there is few tat are there...there might always be the few whom are there tat i could talk to...but its diff leh...Frenz whom i treat as close i would try to keep in contact try to meet them up...or at the very least drop a msg once in awhile...no matter how long...however....they normally dun reciprocrate...why's tat so??for eg. the other day i was on the bus then jus tot of my this fren so decided to call him and then ask how is he and all...and this was the conversation:Me:"hey XX! how are u...where ya now?"Him:"hey..how come so free to call me?"Me:"no lar call and ask how are u lor...."Him:"sure ornot....quick quick...wat u want??"Me:"nothing! really jus wanna ask how are u.."Him:"dun bluff lar...suddenly call me sure got something to ask of me rite..."Me:" yar lor...ask how are u lor.."Him:"hmm i ok lor i working now lor....u really call me jus to ask how am i ah?so good??"Me:"YES!!!wah liaoz...wats wrong with being concern for a fren???"this is shortened version of the question and answering part....but general front converse was like this...Must we always doubt the sincerity of a fren?this is wat i meant by treating a fren a fren but not getting reciprocrated...Next~ my frenz bday was on fri i think and i sorta overlooked and msged him immediately and i knew before tat(read on his blog) he most prob having some small gathering...was hoping to get the invitation to celebrate with him although im like how poor now...but i tot i should...but i knew by then tat i wasn't invited...and so jus sent him a msg saying happy bday and said tat although im not invited and couldnt be there to help him celebrate but hope he enjoys himself at the party..he called me shortly after tat...apologising and saying tat he didnt really formally invite anyone to celebrate and tat he hope im not upset or wat....i replied and told him its ok its ok nvm....but deep down i noe i wasn't lar...i think i jus felt the distance...like...ok...well...he would be one of the first few to be invited to join me if i had anything...but when its his turn...i noe i wont be the one he would wanna ask to attend...Well another last case was this fren whom i always used to hang out with,with the other fren mentioned above..although i noe they're both busy with work and with their own stuffs but i always make sure i check their blogs to noe how they're doing and wat they are up to...and for this particular fren he broke up not long ago and he was upset and all....and everytime i saw him on msn tried to chat with him and tried to ask him out to cheer him up and all...but everytime i kanna reject...and he will like no talk much...but i know he's been meeting up with the other fren to cheer himself up and all...wat would u have felt if u were me? i didnt kick a fuss up...i didnt wanna add to his misery...and when he made posts on his blog abt booking in and how he dreads it...i would sms and encourage him and hope he have a good wk and all...each time no reply...then i also realised...his blog have all the pictures taken with his frenz...close ones and recently newly made ones...but doesnt have mine...although we did take in the past...it isn't a case of eating vinegar.....i think......i feel its more of a case of misplaced frenship...im shouting UNFAIr...but who's to judge?and who am i to call unfair?Each fren to me is diff...diff degrees...but there's definitely those tat i can click and like to hang out with...or used to hang out with....but i jus dun see tat continuing..and its not due to me being busy...they simply dun bother to meet u anymore...cos they dun think ur in their clique...nor treat u impt anymore...its simply...UR DROPPED... What would u have done if u were me? How would u feel were u the one then? is it always this way?or isit just me?dun tag the usual dun be upset or wat...im not upset...im disappointed more...i rather u give a comment....Air Turbulence at 1:27 AM